Why Can't We Forgive?

In high school, which was not so long ago, I participated in every and any extra-curricular activity I could. I made sure I was known in my school community, and established a reputation that would last all four years of my high school career.

It was not until my senior year, 2006-2007, where I felt I was just a product of the school. I constantly commercial all the events that were happening on campus, sporting games, plays, etc. The only things that came out of my mouth were about Trinity Catholic High School. I am not saying that I am not proud of it -- Trinity was my life. I dedicated so much into that school and received double the amount back. I created a new status quo for incoming students, half of which could not reach it. I did feel that I made a difference in high school, until that one day came, when I was asked to the Dean of Students office.

As I walked in, Mr. Genualdo stared me down. I asked what the matter was, and he replied, "You destroyed campus property, and we have you on tape." So many things rushed through my mind at that point -- As I looked in his eyes, I saw hatred and anger, and it affected me in a sense that I gave four years of my life in dedication to this high school, and I get repaid with attitude and dismay. I asked to view the tape, his response? "NOT A PROBLEM."

The two of us reviewed the tape together, and I did see me on the video, but then, I left. I saw myself reach to my locker; get my books for the next class, and leave. I was so confused! What in the world was Mr. Genualdo talking about, 'destroying campus property'? As I left in the video, he paused it, and asked, "Did you see what you did?" What was I supposed to say, "Yes, Mr. Genualdo, I did?!" What was he talking about, seriously?! It just... it was very unclear, and it got to a point where my eyes started to water, because there I was, a model student, being accused of blasphemy.

Apparently, he believed that I posted a piece of paper on a student's locker, the one next to me, having degrading and disturbing writings on it. We reviewed the tape, again and again, together, and he saw that it was not me, that it was another student who walked up next to me, and left before I did. Once he figured it out, I looked into his eyes again - very apologetic. As he apologized to me, trying to shake my hand for forgiveness, I left and said, "Four years of my life I dedicated myself, trying to be the model student for your school. Four years, and this is what I get." And I left...

I went home and I informed my parents what happened, and with that time in between leaving school and getting home, I really thought about how I handled the situation. Instead of shaking his hand and forgiving him, I, unfortunately, chose my subconscious and utilized my anger in order to get revenge. As I heard the background of my parents yelling, cussing at Mr. Genualdo, ready to call the school, I stopped them, and told them not to worry about it. I would fix this situation on my own, and as an adult -- not a student.

I went to Mr. Genualdo's office that upcoming Monday, nervous as hell to speak with him, thinking about what I was going to say. He called me in, and I began talking: "I forgive you for accusing me of something I did not do. It was a mistake, we are all human. Now I ask you for forgiveness, as I treated you, someone of elder status, with no respect and willingness to make things right. If you can forgive me, Mr. Genualdo, that would be great. But please realize that my feelings and thoughts about what I accomplished in this school were crushed the second you said that I destroyed campus property." He saw my argument, and said thank you for forgiving him, and he also forgave me.

Anger does not solve, it only creates more anger. Why is it that people cannot just let go of the smaller problems in life? What is in us that we cannot forgive?